Rated: PG-13? Cos there's a curse word lalalal.
Summary: They're getting there. Slowly. The agnst is dissipating.
Murata changed the bandages on his legs again. The only reason he was in the infirmary still was so that he had a never-ending supply of bandages... and so he wouldn't have to go back into his own room and accidentally run into Wolfram. Things had been quieter and Murata had cried less now that Wolfram had healed enough to leave.
Wolfram had been busy with the whole evil Yuuri fiasco..and he had been trying to give Murata a little time to himself..but he had had enough of that and finally he made his way over to the infirmary, peeking his head in and peering around. "..Mura?"
Murata made a high pitched voice. "Murata is not in right now, can I leave a message?"
Wolfram frowned. "Stop being stupid. How are you feeling?" He stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him.
"I can sit." Murata offered, hoping that was a good enough answer. "How about you?"
Wolfram smiled a little and nodded. "That's good. The only thing that really still hurts on me is my torso..and it's just bruised." Wolfram stepped forward and pulled up a chair, sitting next to Murata's bed.
Murata tucked his bandaged legs under the covers and folded his hands over it. "So... to what do I owe this visit?"
Wolfram blinked a bit, crossing his legs. "Um..the fact that we're married?"
"You still don't have to visit me. It's not like I'm going anywhere and isn't there a Shibuya to exact revenge on somewhere?"
Wolfram frowned, pulling lightly at his coat. "I missed you. What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing... I guess." Murata fidgeted a little, looking everywhere but at Wolfram. "How is everyone else doing? I... don't really hear about what's going on out there."
"I..I don't know. Things have calmed down, at least. Aniue's been acting a little strange but..no more disasters really..." Wolfram continued to fidget with his coat, finding it hard not to crawl in bed and cling.
"I see. Well. That's good, I'm glad." Murata felt like a robot. It was true, he didn't know what to say to his husband anymore. He couldn't help but feel like every move he made was judged and scrutinzed down to the very last detail.. which was why he liked to hide in the covers. He knew he'd have to face everything sooner or later, but Murata just liked to put things off until the last moment. D: "Thank you for the update."
Wolfram frowned. "Would you stop being so uptight? It's just me..." And yeah, they were having issues, but still..
"I can't stop being so uptight! If I say anything else you'll... start bitching at me." D: D: D: D:
"I will not!" Wolfram argued, knowing that he was probably lying. "I just..I just want to talk to you like normal is all!"
"Well you're asking the impossible." Murata shot at him.
"What is WRONG with you?!" Wolfram's voice was raising slowly along with his anger. "I'm just trying to be civil with you and you won't even allow me that! What did I do to you?!"
Murata flinched, but his temper refused to let him back down. "You don't have a reason to be civil to me! In fact, you shouldn't even be talking to me, and I have no right to be married to you. At all. THAT'S what's wrong." In his anger he tugged at the ring on his finger and threw it at Wolfram. "Just hurry up and divorce me already! I'm sick and tired of you trying to sugarcoat everything when it has long since rotted!"
Wolfram...was actually speechless. Which was a big deal, for him. He just let the ring hit him then land on the floor, spinning around for a few moments before it settled. After quite a while of just staring, he spoke up, voice barely audible. "...you really want that?"
Murata was breathing hard, his face red and his eyebrows set. "Of course that's what I want. I can't stand this constant guilt anymore. I thought I could live with it, but every time I see you and I see that sad look on your face, I can't TAKE it. Don't torture me with promises of still wanting to be with me and stop wanting to pretend everything is alright when it isn't. That's what hurts me the most."
Wolfram was oddly calm, considering the situation, his voice soft but steady. "So you really don't want to be with me. All of what you said was a lie, then."
Frustrated, Murata threw his hands in the air, wanting to tear at the sheets, but he couldn't. "No.. damnit, Wolfram! I want to be with you. I /LOVE/ you. But I can't stand your sad face and this constant feeling that I'll never be able to get you back and you're just humoring me. Mocking me. Teasing me. Why do you tell me you miss me? Why do you come to visit still? Why do you try to touch me all the time? If you're hurt start ACTING like it."
Wolfram frowned and looked down at his lap. "I..I'm upset with you, yes, but I'm not going to ridicule you for it constantly. Even though you did something that I really didn't care for, I still love you and that outweighs everything."
"But WHY?" Murata threw off the covers and sat at the edge of the bed, ready to shake some sense into Wolfram. "By all practical means, you should have left me DAYS ago."
"Practical, yes, but when has love ever been considered practical?" Wolfram stated softly, finally looking up at Murata.
Murata's gaze stared hard into Wolfram's eyes as if he were searching for something hidden there. His face was set into a permanent frown, eyebrows furrowed and jaw set. "It's hard to believe you would still want to be with me after what happened."
"Why? I've told you a million times, I love you more than anything and can't imagine a world without you. So why is it so hard to believe that I can forgive?" ...because he was Wolfram that's why.
"Because---!" Murata stopped dead in his words. One word had stuck out in particular. "You...you you f-forgave me?"
Wolfram's eyebrow lifted slowly. "You think I'd be here if I hadn't?"
Murata had asked Wolfram to forgive him before and Wolfram had said something about how it would take time and he was too upset and blah blah blah. But... but now that Murata was forgiven then dear god EVERYTHING had changed. "So I... I'm forgiven, right? I... can touch you without guilt?" His right hand twitched, slowly unclenching.
Wolfram nodded a little, looking back down at his lap as if he were embarrassed. "I wish you would, actually..."
Slowly, Murata held up a shaking hand and after a lot of coaxing from his brain, finally pressed it against Wolfram's cheek, stroking it softly. A shy smile littered his lips and he let out a shuddering sigh as if he had waited a millenia to do this.
Wolfram smiled softly and closed his eyes, his cheeks even heating up just the slightest. It seemed like it had been forever since Murata had even just done something like this..
As his courage went on, Murata let the back of his fingers slowly run up Wolfram's cheek and then past his temple to brush aside his bangs. His smile didn't disappear either, when he finally opened his mouth to speak. His voice didn't come out the way he wanted it to, so he settled for whispering the words. "I missed you."
Wolfram's smile widened and he leaned into every touch, his blush spreading. "I'm glad." Slowly, Wolfram lifted his hand to brush his fingers along the hand that was touching his face, just barely making contact. "..because I missed you just as much."
Murata turned his hand to take a hold of Wolfram's, squeezing it tight. "I'm sorry.... I'm sorry for all those things I said to you." His voice was shaking, but he ignored it. He was too busy clinging to Wolfram's hand.
"It's okay." Wolfram said softly, taking a moment to lean down and pick up the ring that Murata had thrown at him. He let go of Murata's hand, but only to pull it over and plant a kiss on the top of it before sliding the ring back onto his finger. Wolfram had put his own back on days ago...
Murata hadn't noticed the ring on Wolfram's finger, either. He had long since assumed that it would never go back on. But when Wolfram replaced Murata's ring, he got himself a good look and his heart raced--he was happier than he had ever been at that moment right there! He slid off the bed and pulled Wolfram to him a tight embrace. He knew they would probably take things slow at first or something, but Murata was too concerned with the fact that he wasn't getting a divorce that all he wanted to do was hug his husband.
Wolfram slowly lifted his arms and wrapped them around Murata's back, nuzzling against his husband's shoulder. "Do you believe me now?"
"Yes I... I believe you." Murata was holding onto Wolfram so tight, he had forgotten about his ribs and he reluctantly let go of his husband slightly, but just enough so that Wolfram wouldn't be in pain. "When you're alone for so long you... tend to dwell on things too much."
Wolfram had actually forgotten about his own ribs..but they were thankful that Murata had loosened his grip slightly, at least. "Tell me about it." Wolfram mumbled, turning his head to nuzzle against the side of Murata's neck. "It's been horrible sleeping alone.."
"It's been horrible just existing." Murata laughed at the expense of losing the solemn tone. "Maybe I'll actually receive treatment so I can heal faster... and we can spend some time together catching up." And by catching up, he meant talking and playing jacks. Not sex.
And for once, Wolfram wasn't thinking about sex either. He was still kind of iffy about just hugging Murata, so it might take a little while for him to get that comfortable again. "You'll come back to our room when you can, won't you?"
"When the nurses let me out of here, yeah." He could stomach sleeping in the same room as Wolfram, really. It wasn't like he was poisoned anymore... or something. Also, Murata found that he liked hugging Wolfram when Wolfram didn't have an erection. It just made things more comfortable... but he decided not to let Wolfram know this.
At least for a while, Wolfram would be all about the hugging. And clinging. "How long do you think it'll be? It's..it's really lonely in there...especially at night."
"Well..." Murata thought a moment. "My lip and face are pretty much completely healed.. I just have to apply salve to my legs and they'll heal almost immediately. They're only cuts after all. And..." His anal... well, he could sit, now.... and he was afraid to see what it looked like, but he was sure it wasn't as bad as when Wolfram had it. "If I played my cards right, I might be able to go home tonight or tomorrow."
"Tonight?? Really???" Wolfram's eyes lit up and sparkled gayly at the thought. He would have Murata again! And...and things would be okay and he could cling to his heart's desire <3
"If I accept treatment." Murata shielded himself from the sparkly. It wasn't like he was going to refuse the treatment or anything, but he felt that needed to be made clear. "If you want, we can start applying our favorite salve to the cuts on my legs..."
Wolfram leaned back, his head tilted slightly. "Would you like for me to do it? I'll be gentle.." As gentle as Wolfram could be.
"You don't have to..." Murata pried himself away from Wolfram and climbed back onto the bed, already starting to undo his bandages. "I can go ahead and do this...." He trailed off for a moment. "Say, Wolfram? We wouldn't happen to have any cookies left, would we?"
"Cookies?" Wolfram questioned, trying to remember. "I..I think there are a few left in the tin in our room. Why?"
"Because..." Murata tried to make himself seem really busy with removing his bandages. "I... wanted to know if I could have some." Those cookies were the last thing the two of them did together before this all happened, and right now, it just seemed like a good idea to have one.
"I suppose so..would you like for me to go and get you one?" Afterall, it would probaby be better for Wolfram to be out of the room while Murata tended to his wounds.
"Could you?" Murata's eye brightened as well as his smile. "Not to mention it'll be a wonderful break from all the slosh they like to feed me here."
"I suppose so..would you like for me to go and get you one?" Afterall, it would probaby be better for Wolfram to be out of the room while Murata tended to his wounds.
"Could you?" Murata's eyes brightened as well as his smile. "Not to mention it'll be a wonderful break from all the slosh they like to feed me here."
Wolfram nodded, smiling a bit as he stood and headed to their bedroom to retrieve the tin of cookies, giving Murata time to tend to his wounds. He returned a few minutes later and took his seat back next to Murata's bed, holding out the tin and lifting the lid to reveal four cookies. "You can have them all, if you like."
Murata was like Jesus and healed his swollen wounds. "Cookies!" He all but drooled reaching out to take one, savoring in the love and sugar that went into making them.
Wolfram's smile widened and he laughed softly, putting the lid back on the tin after Murata had taken one. "Really, I wish you would eat them all. You've gotten thinner since you've been here..." And then he looked worried because Murata had already been skinny before and now..yeah..;_;
"Then don't put the lid back on." Murata frowned, reaching for the tin again like a starving thing. "They're really good and the taste is magnified since I've been eating crap for almost a week." Really, who thought grits were tasty? ... and good for you?
Wolfram sighed and took the lid off, setting the tin on the side of the bed. "I bet you can probably see your ribs.."
Murata immediately dug his hand inside and pulled out a few more cookies, popping one in his mouth and sighing, savoring the taste some more before swallowing. "What are you talking about? You can always see my ribs."
"Yes, but I mean even more than usual." Because that would be bad. Wolfram leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes. "I mean, I certainly like you thin but not emaciated."
"You don't want your husband to be a supermodel?"
Wolfram, of course, didn't know what a supermodel was, so he just tilted his head and blinked a few times. "Not if it involves him looking like walking death."
Murata sighed. Well... at least Wolfram didn't want a supermodel for a husband. That was a plus. It meant Murata didn't have to watch his weight or something... so he ate another cookie. "And I don't look like walking death... up until 15 minutes ago, I couldn't EVEN walk."
"Well sitting death or whatever." Wolfram mumbled, tipping his chair back on its back legs. "The point is, I want you nice and healthy."
"And feeding me carbs and sugar and the like will make me healthy." Murata stated with a sarcastic grin. Really, he was feeling a million tmes better now that he wasn't in pain and Wolfram had forgiven him and... and... <3
Wolfram cracked open an eye to give Murata a disapproving look. "Well, having a healthy weight is part of it, you know."
Murata gave a sigh and nibbled on a cookie, degected. "I can't have lost that much weight..."
"You look awfully skinny to me. And pale. And you have bags under your eyes." Basically, Wolfram was saying that he looked like crap.
Murata felt a bunch of swords stab into his nonexistant ego and he put the tin of cookies away, feeling deflated. "I guess I'll get some sleep, then. I haven't had very much since.. you know." He tried to look away to hide his ashen face. He had just been really upset, okay? D:
"Good. Sleep as long as you want. Maybe you'll be feeling better when you wake up and you can come back to me." Wolfram lowered his chair back onto all four legs and stood, leaning over to press a kiss to Murata's forehead. "I'll let you rest now."
Murata pulled the covers to his chin and smiled inwardly at the kiss on his forehead. He hadn't realized how much he missed Wolfram's lips in general. "I promise, I'll come back and not looking so much like a zombie. I don't want you to regret keeping me around." A weak smile.
"As if I'd divorce you for looking tired. It's been tough lately. I understand." Wolfram patted the top of Murata's head lightly before heading to the door. "Come to the room later if you're able, okay?"
"I will!" ... so what if he sounded too eager? He really needed out of that infirmary before he got cabin fever and went crazy... and he also needed to cling to Wolfram. He hadn't had anyone to cling to for so long and he was more than needy. "A..and, Wolfram?"
Wolfram paused in the doorway, a small smile on his face. "What is it?"
Murata didn't care if it was too early. He really didn't. He drew the covers up over his mouth and turned on his side, and said just barely loud enough for it to reach Wolfram. "I... love you."
Wolfram smiled widely, leaning against the doorframe a bit. "And despite what you may think, I love you too." And then he left to go and be cool.
Murata went to sleep and didn't have nightmares about Wolfram stepping on his face in a ditch.