Li (li_bii) wrote in maoulicious,

It's... another annie and Li log.

Who: Yuuri, Maou and Shinou
When: When yuuri wakes up
Where: On a bed.
Rated: NC-17
Summary: Shinou finds Yuuri and unchains him and makes him let the Maou out. They proceed to conceive a child through the use of more clever anal-ogies and talk about baking.

Shinou was getting pissed off. It had been threehundred and twenty five years since he had had a juice break and he was getting tired of this. Part of the benefits of having a boyfriend was that you got to do him all the time, right? But NO. His stupid boyfriend had to go and get himself possessed by something stupid and it made Shinou want to kill babies and not even eat them.

Since the castle hadn't exploded, yet, and the evil Yuuri thing hadn't shown up to be his best friend for a while, Shinou set out to find him and when he did, he was chained to a bed.

Oh, how convenient. "To keep chained or not to keep chained? What a stupid question." He said aloud, upon anal-yizing the situation.

Yuuri woke up conveniently, because it wasn't interestesting for him to be asleep and he blinked at Shinou.

Then he burst into tears. He remembered all of it, raping Murata in the anal, hitting Wolfram with the vase, kissing Wolfram--okay, actually, that was quite nice--and generally being horribly evil. He felt dirty and sad and like he had lost a game of baseball. He twitched against the chains holding him down, just wanting to go somewhere and write horrible, emo poetry about how he betrayed everyone he loved.

"Good morning." Shinou purred. "Would you like to be unchained?" It was crying and that was awesome. Shinou liked things that cried. It made him feel powerful. He wasn't interested in talking to the dopey gay thing, though. He wanted to talk to his boyfriend.

Yuuri thought about this. He didn't deserve to be unchained. He deserved to be tied to this bed and left to rot forever. But...he sniffled once. "Yes, please." He needed to go die somewhere privater, without Shinou standing over him.

"Well... you did say please..." Shinou's voice was oddly soft and almost gentle. It didn't suit him at all and made him look like he had a heart. It quickly changed. "But I don't feel like it. Let me talk to the other you. He's less whiny."

Yuuri thought it was privately sad that he had been reduced to being more emo than the maou. "Unchain me first." He said stubbornly, ignoring the Maou screaming inside his head to come out and make some hot justice with Shinou.

"I'll unchain one hand, how about that?" He would lose his hotness if he was unchained. Whore.

"What am I going to do with that? I can't unchain myself, I don't have the keys!" Yuuri said. Shinou was dumb.

"Drag the bed with you. That would be amusing." As if that little skinny thing could drag a whole bed. Shinou would watch, though.

Yuuri tried to kick Shinou. In the thigh. That would show him.

Shinou took a hold of Yuuri's foot and twisted it. "I thought you were done being evil. If I let you go, what are you going to do? Run away and cry in private. As pathetic as that is, I'd rather see you angst in person. Keep your promise and let the Maou out if I do decide to grow a heart and unchain you. I have... diplomatic things to discuss with him."

Yuuri whimpered because it hurt to have his foot twisted. He jerked against Shinou, then seemed to fold in and he nodded miserably. Maybe he should just give his body to the Maou full time. It wasn't like he was doing anything with it. "All right." Yuuri said, giving up. "But you have to unchain me."

"Done and done." Shinou was god and with the wave of his hand, the chains rusted and crumbled, setting Yuuri free. "Now let up your end of the bargain. I have no emotions for you looking like a fetus, except maybe hunger."

Yuuri went fetal and sniffled. "I can't believe I hurt Murata." Yuuri whispered, almost sucking on his thumb. Yes, yes, he had made a promise to Shinou but it was all right to break promises to evil dead guys.

"I hurt the Daikenja all the time, it's not a big deal." Shinou sat down on the bed and placed a hand on Yuuri's shoulder. "Let my boyfriend out."

"You two will just do it." He couldn't even say the word 'sex' without thinking of emo Murata. "Just leave me to my pain." Ouch. Had he really said that?

"Yeah, so?" Shinou frowned. Yuuri's emo was rubbing off on him and it made him want to kill birds so that they would be dead. "What is he saying to you right now? If you don't let him out, he'll grow even darker eyeliner on his eyes and he'll be even more emo than the Daikenja."

"Murata's...wait, is Murata okay?!" Yes, Yuuri was a selfish poo who hadn't even thought of his best friend because he was so busy being emo about raping his best friend. "Is Wolfram?!"

"I'm still linked partly with the Daikenja from long ago." Shinou explained, but only briefly and didn't do a very good job of it. He and the Daikenja liked to do that. Only explain things halfway and then never tell the rest. "And as far as I know, they keep crying and it's really annoying. Listen, I don't care. Give me what I want."

"I should..." Yuuri stood up. "I should go see them and..." And say what? Sorry I raped you and tried to seduced you and hit you with a vase and genuinely ruined your life? "Maybe we could all play baseball."

"I'm about to HIT YOU WITH A BASEBALL." Shinou began to stink and grabbed Yuuri by the collar. "BOYFRIEND. NOW."

Yuuri eeped and turned into the Maou, who tackled Shinou in his gay, womanly arms and kissed him on the lips. With black lipstick, because he was a woman.

Except the Maou didn't have breasts, and Shinou was okay with that. Shinou was so surprised to have a woman in his arms that he toppled backward onto the bed with the Maou on top of him. "It's about time."

The Maou was busy nuzzling dumbly against Shinou's throat and collarbone like a happy animal seeing its master for the first time in a while. "I missed you." He said.

"I missed you, too." The words were out of Shinou's mouth before he could stop them and he frowned. He randomly hit the Maou on the head, though, just for good measure. "That's for not being strong enough to come out and do me."

The Maou was hit on the head! By Shinou!! The Maou had to randomly kiss Shinou because that was so sexy. "Sorry." He said. "Now that Yuuri is dumb again, I'll come out." He promised.

"Good." Shinou was satisfied with that. He also noted that this was the longest he has talked to the Maou without them being naked. As a torturous though, he wondered how long it would last. "I haven't had any bundt cakes to eat. I've been losing weight. I think you've been trying to kill me."

The Maou pouted. "I'll make you a hundred bundt cakes!" He promised. "We'll fatten you up right away." That hadn't come out quite the way he wanted it too.

"Oh, so I'm too skinny for you, is that it? I'm not fat enough? How much fatter do you want me to be? How much of my skin to do you want to sink your teeth into?" And suddenly Shinou's ghetto bitch talk turned into something he thought was quite arousing and after hitting the Maou again, he forgave him. "Bite me."

The Maou liked Shinou hitting him and with that as an incentive, he bit Shinou quite hard on the side of the neck, like some gay, long-haired, goth vampire.

In otherwards, just like every vampire ever.

Shinou made very sensual victim sounds and played God to the point that he granted the Maou with sharp teeth in hopes that they would draw blood. He didn't really argue the thought.

The Maou bit down again, enjoying the hot sounds Shinou was making and the taste of Shinou's flesh. He bit down hard enough to draw some hot, cherry-flavored Shinou's blood and pulled back to reveal the red stain around his mouth. He kissed Shinou so the original king could taste his own blood.

The Maou bit down again, enjoying the hot sounds Shinou was making and the taste of Shinou's flesh. He bit down hard enough to draw some hot, cherry-flavored Shinou's blood and pulled back to reveal the red stain around his mouth. He kissed Shinou so the original king could taste his own blood.

Shinou liked this. He liked this a lot. He kissed the Maou back hungrily, already up for some major molestation. His hands wasted no time in going up the Maou's shirt to fondle a nipple or two.

The Maou was not a freak of nature and only had two nipples, but they were very fondleable. He raked his nails down Shinou's back as he pulled the original king down on top of him so they could have a hot makeout session. Filled with hot.

Shinou liked this, too and allowed it. He made very good use of his hot makeout session with the Maou and filled it with lip nibbling, tongue-sucking lip-pulling and general exploring of the mouth. All the while, he thumbed the Maou's nipples like radio knobs, trying to find a good station.

The Maou played 'loud moans', 'soft wet groans' and 'dumb whimpering sounds'. On a good day, you could catch 'repeated moans of Shinou's name'. Today was one of those days and the Maou wiggled his hips against Shinou, trying to rub their peens together.

To heighten this, Shinou ground his peen downward, meshing with the Maou's. When he found he liked that, he did it again... and soon he found he was humping the Maou like mad. Oh well. He was getting good reception with his radio and the tunes were great. Life was good. The moment his radio would start to play commercials, however, he was going to put his CD into the Maou's CD player and jam to his own tunes.

The Maou humped Shinou wetly, his peen becoming hard, like a good antenna. This resulted in clearer reception and louder moaning, whimpering, etc. He stopped only to bite at Shinou's neck and shoulders, trying to undo his boyfriend's robes

Shinou liked it when people tried to undress him, namely his boyfriend. It didn't get to happen very often and he let it happen. In fact, he even helped and then went to better get off the Maou's more annoying garments. He need some fresh skin to suck on. He had moved down to suck and nip on the Maou's neck and it was saturated.

The Maou turned his clothes to water and they watered away, living lots of slightly damp skin for Shinou to nibble on.

Shinou liked that. In fact, he forgot all about himself and his clothes entirely and began attacking the Maou with his mouth, kissing and lapping at the skin of his shoulders, collarbone, chest, nipples, stomach, sides, navel, thighs, the junction of his legs and torso. He was hungry, damnit.

The Maou's penis gave a little twitch every time Shinou lapped at his skin, which meant his peen was practically doing a little jig. The Maou stroked Shinou's hair, making Shinou's clothes turn to water so he could see Shinou's nude butt wiggle downwards.

Shinou didn't even realize his clothes had dissipated, but it didn't really matter to him anyway. He was busy running his hands along the Maou's thighs and eventually stopped devouring his flesh to devour his peen, instead. Shinou couldn't remember if he had ever sucked the Maou's peen, but then he realized it must not have mattered and he sucked it anyway, tongue swirling around like cinnamon swirl.

The Maou's peen did a dance in Shinou's mouth. It was hard and hot and extra-cinnamony for the love of his life. The Maou whimpered pitifully, watching the peen-sucking. It was enough to break his mind, just watching.

Shinou gripped the Maou's ass with both his hands and sucked harder, taking more and more in and deep throating because he was the awesome Shinou and all that. He had been so concerned with needing to do the Maou that he hadn't even realized he was actually TRYING to make his boyfriend feel good... something he rarely ever did.

The Maou wasn't going to point it out or anything. He was enjoying the sucking quite a lot and besides, he was too dumb and incoherent. Shinou was being nice. Really nice.

All at once, the Maou blurted, "Do you think we'll ever have kids?"

Shinou almost bit the Maou's peen right off, but he didn't. He wiped his mouth and looked up. "Of course we'll have kids. I like mine with gravy. Do you have a preference?"

The Maou frowned at him, thinking that maybe that wasn't the best time to bring that subject up. He almost forgot that Shinou wasn't godly enough to suck his peen and talk at the same time. "I mean kids who we'll raise into beautiful adults." He persevered.

Shinou frowned and poked at the peen in front of him. "If you want one, fine, but I'm not taking care of it and you have to keep it from me unless I eat it. I don't believe in resisting temptation." Speaking of which, he went back to sucking on the Maou's peen.

The Maou went back to moaning and decided discussing their future children could wait.

Shinou liked that plan and magically lubed up a finger. As he sucked the Maou's peen, he pressed a finger inside the Maou's entrance, softening and stretching him for his original maou!cock.

The Maou's entrance opened like a hole full of quicksand trying to suck Shinou's finger in so it could squeeze it to death.

Shinou put in another finger to help his other finger out.

The two fingers were carefully sucked in and squeezed by powerful, boa-constrictor-like anal muscles. The Maou frowned at Shinou, wanting a peen in there, but too busy moaning to ask for it.

Shinou had to strain to pull his fingers out, but he did it anyway. He even pulled his face from the Maou's peen. It was time. It was more than time. He got up and lifted the Maou's legs, ready to do him silly.

The Maou liked being done silly. Because really, every time Li and Annie did a log, it was silly, so that was only to be expected. He spread his legs and looked up at Shinou pitifully, impatient for the peening of his life.

And because Li felt like she was on the spotlight, she couldn't think of a clever analogy to use for this particular peening, so Shinou just entered him outright, moaning when he felt the muscles clench just like he liked.

The Maou was okay with being entered without a clever analogy, because he really just enjoyed the look on Shinou's face and the feel of a big hard Shinou peen entering his anal canal. He moved his hips, trying to wiggle that peen in deeper for greater penetration.

Good, Shinou liked being pressed and sucked in as far as he could go. It made his peen feel like it was stretching and that was pretty cool. He leaned foward over the Maou, devouring some skin he has obviously missed previously as he thrust his manhood into his boyfriend.

The Maou liked having Shinou's hot manroot in him and he tried to give it a good hard stretching so it wouldn't strain itself as it slammed into him. He was thoughtful like that.

Shinou thanked the Maou by touching his peen.

The Maou would have liked some more adjectives in the peen-touching, but he still made a hot face and gasped, "Oh, Shinou, touch me!"

God, that was gay.

Shinou touched him again. And by "touch" he meant stroking, pumping, twisting, fondling, thumbing the tip and giving an overall handjob. Of wonder.

The Maou was so turned on by those hot, hot descriptive words that his ass-muscles tightened around Shinou and he trembled on the edge of an orgasm.

Shinou made a very weird, but still manly seme noise when his peen was squeezed and he gripped the Maou's peen harder, burying his face in the other's neck and saying something like, "Milk me!" But no one really knew if that was what he had said or not. It was muffled.

The Maou milked himself first, like a good cow and Shinou was the milkmaid in one of those pretty white milkmaid dresses, his anal muscles spasming around Shinou's peen.

Shinou even had a bonnet.

But not for long, because Shinou injected his sperm into the Maou's anal cavity. Probably impregnating him.

The Maou was happy, because he would have Shinou's baby and then spend the next eighteen years trying to keep Shinou from eating it. He lay back, panting on the bed and glistening with sperm and gay. "I love you."

"I have significant feelings for you, too." Shinou didn't know how to pronounce love unless it was in the sentence 'I love to eat babies.' He collapsed on top of his babymommy.

The Maou was like a pregnant teenage girl who hadn't realized yet her boyfriend would beat her and leave her when he found out she was having a baby. He played with Shinou's hair. ".....maybe...we should get married."

...Okay, yes, he was a woman. And he was a woman who had to share his body. But still!

"Okay." Shinou could always file for divorce, later. Didn't marriage mean more peen touching?

The Maou sparkled and threw himself on Shinou. He had never imagined anyone could make him so happy. Then he proceeded to kiss Shinou wetly.

Shinou really didn't know what he had agreed to. He was thinking with his peen again. But he was getting kissed so it must not have been bad.

The Maou would bake Shinou a bundt cake every day and remember to put a dildo in it if only he could have matrimonial bliss and a baby!

Well in that case, married life was pretty cool. Shinou could get used to that. If the Maou tunged his peen often.

The Maou would even take lessons to tung Shinou's peen better.

Shinou thought the Maou was pretty fab already.

The Maou thought that the word fab made him sound like he was on a show on Bravo! giving people makeovers.

Shinou didn't really care. He pulled of the Maou and cuddled with him on the bed, actually enjoying afterglow. "Do you have a cigarette?" Because shinou knew what one was.

The Maou produced a cigarette that looked strangely like a stick of gum. "Here."

"Thank you." Shinou lit up. ... the stick of gum.

It smelled like burning gum and the Maou wrinkled his nose. "That stuff is bad for you."

"Is it? No one has ever told me that before." Shinou doused it.

The Maou kissed him and laid in his arms, tucking his head on Shinou's manly biceps, not bothering to think about where Shinou had doused the burning gum. "I don't want to turn back into that geek Yuuri."

"Then don't." Shinou said simply. "I don't want you to turn back, either. He cries a lot and not in the good way." He frowned and pulled the Maou close, possessively. He was one of those boyfriends that would abuse their cheerleader girlfriends if they so much as passed another boy in the hall.

The Maou would have looked so cute in a miniskirt and pompoms. He wished someone would hit on him just so his Shinou would beat them up. Or beat him up. But either way, it was only because Shinou loved him.

"I can't stop it. I'm not really supposed to be out now. I have to think about justice alot." Which was hard when Shinou was peening him.

"You can write justice on me and that will constitute as having delivered it, at least. Would that count?"

"..." The Maou scrunched up his nose and thought about it real hard. "I...don't think so."

"Oh." Shinou frowned. "Does this mean you're kicking me out? Are you rejecting me? For the twerp?"

"Nooo!!" The Maou clung to him. "I just don't long I can stay like this." Which wasn't fair. "If only I had my own body to be done with."

"I wonder if I could remove you from him." Shinou stoked his chin. It really hadn't been done before, so he didn't realize how to go about it.

"I don't know...I mean, it would be weird not to hear his dumb crying in the back of my head."

"Is he crying, now?" Shinou raised an eyebrow. "I think I know what you mean. People pray to me a lot. And it's whiny. And annoys me. But unlike you, I wish it would go away."

"Well, I've always had it there...wait, people pray to me? They don't pray to you for gay sex do you? You don't give it to them do you?"

"No, people think I'm God. They also call my name out during sex. I hear them. Sometimes it's old people. It makes me want to die." He made himself busy with floppy his hand around in the Maou's hair. "I only do you. You're the only person that actually does me back."

The Maou hugged onto him. "You say the sweetest things."

"It's because I'm fed a lot of bundt cake. Feed me a roast and I'll say a lot of roasty things." Shinou stated. He shouldn't be allowed to talk after sex.

The Maou thought about this. "Good. I don't know how to cook a roast."

"But what if I desire a roast?"

Now he was at an impasse. What would he do if his beloved Shinou desired some roasty goodness? "You can do me in the anal instead."

"Okay. Fair trade." Shinou said, completely duped. It did make him think, though. If he ate babies, would he baby talk the Maou?

The Maou would like that! ButnotenoughtoletShinoueathisbabies!!

Shinou might like the thought of his spawn inhabiting the planet and may not even try to eat his baby. It was like the Hamburger-eating champion having a pet cow or something.

The Maou would get Shinou a pet cow, too, if he wanted one. But more than anything else, he would like for their spawn to survive and grow to adulthood and beat up Liesel. A lot.

If Shinou's spawn beat up Murata and Wolfram's spawn--both of which he had raped, mind you--Shinou would DEFINITELY not eat his baby.

Shinou suddenly kissed the Maou as if he knew what was going on outside the quotation marks.

The Maou made out with Shinou and then turned into Yuuri and took one look at Shinou and where Shinou's lips had been and went fetal. Ewww. Original king germs!

Shinou had a sudden impulse to hurl and then realized that his clothes had all turned to water so he was going to be naked getting out of here. "I hate you." He sneered to the fetus on the bed.

The fetus made dumb fetus motions and sucked on its thumbs to rid itself of the taste of Shinou. And it shed a single tear.

Shinou didn't want to deal with that kind of fetus, and he stood up, teleporting himself to a place where he could get some clothes. Like a mall.

People in the mall were busy barring the doors from zombies and stockpiling food, water and guns. They didn't have time to notice the hot man wandering in for some clothes.

Shinou stole a bunch of clothes, looked fabulous and went back to plotting the next time he would pop in on his boyfriend and do him.

Then the log ended.
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