Li (li_bii) wrote in maoulicious,

Who: Murata and Yuuri
Rated: PG
When: No real... given time.
Summary: Murata visits Yuuri to talk and they apologize and... angst.

Murata held a shaking hand to the front of Yuuri's door. He knew at this point Wolfram didn't even want Murata within a 20 foot distance of Yuuri but... they were best friends and... he really needed to clear some things up. Despite everything that had happened, Murata still felt it was his duty to at least patch things up with Yuuri... a little bit. And then sever all friendship ties and keep their relationship purely political or something equally as boring as that. Murata knew that Wolfram would castrate him if he knew Murata still wanted to be friends with his old classmate.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and finally gathered up the courage to knock on Yuuri's door. "Sh...shibuya?"

Yuuri was laying on his bed wallowing in misery. He was tired all the time now, tired and quiet and he didn't even have the energy to pretend to care that someone was outside. So he didn't say anything, just grunted quietly, hoping the person would be discouraged and go away. And die.

Murata felt something in his chest twinge and he winced. When he turned the handle, the door opened easily and Murata stepped quietly inside. "Shibuya, can I talk to you?"

He froze once he saw the broken state of his friend on the bed. The normally bright and all-too-cheerful atmosphere that surrounded Yuuri was gone and the entire room was heavy with depression. Murata hardly moved from his spot.

Yuuri didn't, certainly. He opened his eyes slowly, his black eyes peering at Murata. "Hello, Murata." He whispered. "Um." There weren't that many words that meant 'sorry, I ruined your life'. "Sorry." He closed his eyes again. "Shouldn't you be with Wolfram?"

"He's at training." Murata shuffled around awkwardly in his spot. "I just... wanted to say that... it's not your fault. And... and Wolfram and I are okay again." For the most part. Murata still wasn't allowed to do a few things without sending Wolfram into a shell.

"Oh. Good." Yuuri closed his eyes and forced a sliver of a smile. "I'm glad. I mean, that you two are okay. Tell Wolfram I'm sorry. About all of it."

"I'm sure he knows.. I mean... you were possessed, right?" Murata swallowed again and took a deep breath. "It wasn't anything you could help. We all know you would never do anything like that. ... right?" Unless the possessed form of evil Yuuri was really a spell to bring out hidden desires or something, but that wasn't true! ....

Yuuri had no hidden desires, except that he really wanted to do Wolfram and Murata. Or maybe he used to want to. Right now he couldn't even touch himself without feeling himself thrusting into Murata, feeling the Sage tear under him, and see Murata's eyes looking at him with betrayal.

"No. But...I still hurt you."

Murata nodded slowly, unaware of whether or not Yuuri could see it. "Some wounds can heal." And some wounds just took longer than others. He had no idea how long it would take for Wolfram to trust him again, but that was another emo for another day. He managed to take another step toward Yuuri. "Do you think it would be better if we... stayed away from each other until everything blows over? Maybe we can play baseball again together... the three of us." Maybe.

Yuuri didn't even want to play baseball. That was how low he felt. "I think thats a good idea." He agreed. And by that, he meant, they should never see or look at each other again, because Yuuri might randomy go evil and rape them and ruin everything.

Murata didn't actually think Yuuri would go evil and rape them. He was concerned about Wolfram biting his head off for associating with the person he had cheated with. But relations like this had to be made before too many hostile thoughts were developed. "If it's any consolation, I still hold you in the highest regards. This is no fault of yours. The fault lies entirely within me and my own limits. It's my fault that spirit did what it did. The fact that it was you was a catalyst. So please, don't feel sorry on my account."

Yuuri had no idea what Murata was talking about. Why was a cat making a list and what did it have to do with his crimes? "I hurt you." He repeated stubbornly. It was simple, if you were Yuuri, a matter of black and white. Hurting people was wrong. He had hurt someone, so he was wrong.

Murata forgot that Yuuri was dumb. He sighed. Maybe he would have to speak caveman. "You didn't hurt me. Someone else hurt me using your body. I'm the one that made things get to the point of no return and... oh forget it." Murata sighed. What was the use in explaining it to him? Murata was the one that tongued Yuuri's peen and talked about naked men with him. He was the one that didn't stop and he was the one that didn't realize his morals until it was too late. But... how could he explain that to something with the brain two sizes smaller than a baseball?

Yuuri shook his head. "I would never have...maybe you acted dumbly, but you didn't do it because you...liked me like that. You did it because we're friends and we used to do things like that. If I had been...I would have never asked you too, but you didn't mean to cheat or anything, Ken. I know you love Wolf."

"Yeah... see.. if only Wolfram could understand that." Murata sighed loudly and leaned against the closed door. He was suddenly reminded of why he was Yuuri's friend in the first place. "But that... that's what makes you a good person, Shibuya. You couldn't help what happened, so beating yourself up over something you technically didn't do is meaningless, isn't it?"

"If I didn't do it, like you say, how come you don't want to be around me anymore?" Yuuri said. "It was still my body, Murata, even if it wasn't my mind."

"I don't mind being around you." Murata admitted. It was true. "I'm just worried about... you know... Wolfram." Wolfram's grasp of the situation was completely different from the rest of the world's apparently.

"Well, just tell him we're just friends." Yuuri said. "Or, um, I could tell him, maybe?"

"I think it might mean more if it came from you." Murata said quietly. Wolfram would probably think Murata was lying or... something.

"Okay. I' to him." Yuuri looked at Murata with pained eyes. "Cause I'd really like to be friends again."

"Me, too." Murata tried to look everywhere but at those eyes. They hurt.

Yuuri hurt. He felt dumb, because he had hurt everybody, but there was a continual jabbing in his gut that told him he was a horrible person and he wanted it to stop already.

You could only feel guilty for so long.

He would have liked a hug, but he wasn't that dumb. "I'm gonna go bathe. Um. By myself." He got his clothes. "Then I guess I'll go see Wolfram."

"Alright." Murata nodded slowly. He had a firm grip on the door knob and before he left he turned around. "You're still my best friend, okay?"

Nevermind that Murata really didn't have any other friends to speak of, but Maybe Yuuri wouldn't rememeber that.

Yuuri didn't.

"You're still mine." He whispered. "For whatever that's worth."

Murata smiled. "It's worth a lot. Take it easy." And he slipped out the door and sighed loudly. His hands were shaking as he slowly inched back to his room.
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