When: Sometime in the morning
What: PG-13 for talk of sex
Why: Because Gunter had to tell someone he was getting laid, and only Conrad was around.
Conrad was sitting in the dining hall, bouncing Yuki on his lap as he fed the baby slices of apple.
Gunter rushed in and covered Yuki's ear. "Conrad, do you have a minute? I would have spoken with Wolfram, but I cannot find him!" Wolfram was Gunter's gossip buddy. "And I just...need to tell you something!"
He laughed and nodded, feeding the baby more apples. Yukito chewed on the apple, juice dribbling down his chin as his father wiped it up.
"I...Gwendal and I have been..." He tightened his hand's over Yuki's ears. "Having sex. All the time! It's like we're TEENAGERS."
Yuki started whining when Gunter's hands tightened over his ears.
Conrad just stared at Gunter.
Gunter blushed and giggled, putting his hand over his mouth, uncovering a single ear. "He's such a stallion in the sack."
Conrad just blinked up at him, not knowing what to say.
Yukito giggled and reached up to Gunter. The kid was used to gay.
Gunter took Yuki into his arms and bounced him. "Come to Auntie Gunter." He cooed. "Do you think something's wrong with him?" He asked Conrad, suddenly a little worried.
Yukito laughed and grabbed at Gunter's hair, immediately trying to put it in his mouth.
Conrad shrugged and reached over to keep Gunter's hair out of his son's mouth. "Seems like he's got his head out of his ass to me."
Gunter sighed. "But that's just not my Gwennie. Not that I'm not happy--I've never been nailed so much... " Apparently Gwendal's sex obsession had cured Gunter of any shyness about his personal life. "But I worry for him."
Yukito caught the word 'nailed' and started yelling "BANG!"
Conrad rolled his eyes and covered Yuki's mouth. "Well, talk to him about it," he suggested. "I mean, you two are a couple again, it shouldn't be a problem to discuss things like that."
Gunter blushed. "Oh, but, what if it makes him stop?" He bounced Yuki in his arms lightly.
Yuki found Gunter's lapels more entertaining and started chewing on one.
"I'd rather have a strong relationship with Yozak than never have sex with him again," Conrad said.
Gunter sighed and pulled Yuki away from him. "I...can't I have both?"
"Just because you tell him you're worried doesn't mean he's going to stop sleeping with you," Conrad pointed out, reaching out for his son. He gave him a sip of juice, stroking his hair.
Gunter chewed on his nail. "Do you think it means he likes me more or less?"
"I wouldn't know, Gunter," he said softly. "Gwen's always been very reserved."
Gunter tugged his hair. "I know, so this is...so sudden... I mean, I like it...I think I like it...its hard to sit, of course, but its...very nice...but...he doesn't cuddle much. Anymore."
"Well..." Conrad had to fight the smile that wanted to show. "Next time he tries to sex you up, tell him you just want to cuddle," he said, trying oh so hard not to laugh.
Yukito laughed for his father, clapping his hands.
Gunter blushed. "But what if he thinks I don't love him?" He rended his hair. "How will I go on if Gwendal rejects me?" Gunter was somewhat melodramatic.
"The world may stop," he deadpanned. "But it's a chance you may have to take."
Gunter pouted. "You're not being serious." He was so clever. He noticed.
Conrad smirked. "Gunter, do you want me to talk to him about it?
"......you would do that?" He sparkled with gay. "For meeeeee?"
Gunter blinked and sniffled. "Oh." He wiped a single tear away and looked down pitifully. "Okay."
He laughed. "I'm kidding, right kiddo?"
Yukito laughed and wiggled.
Gunter blinked. "Kidding about no or kidding about talking to Gwennie?"
"Kidding about no." He smiled and kissed Yukito. "You wanna see Uncle Gwen?" he asked the baby, who clapped his hands.
Gunter sparkled and threw himself on Conrad, crying. "Thank you Conrad I was so worried then if he's going to hate anyone he'll hate you not me!" A perfect plan.
Gunter giggled and clapped his hands. "I'm going to go buy something sexy to wear for Gwennie."
He couldn't help but grin. "Does this mean I get to trade sex stories about me and Yozak?" he teased.
Gunter made a face. "As long as they don't involve...drag. Or details. Or...well, the knowledge that you and Yozak are anything but polite and proper at all times."
He raised an eyebrow. "You're sitting here telling me about having extramarital sex with my older brother but I can't talk about sex with my husband?"
"Its not extramarital when neither of us is married! And well, no, because it would be extremely when I have to deal with Gurrier when I see him again."
He shook his head and decided to change the subject. "You really do love Gwendal, don't you?"
"Of course. I..." He looked down and blushed, hugging himself. "Lord Von Voltaire is very special." He said stiffly.
"Mother's going to be a bit upset that she's not going to have any natural grandchildren, but she loves Greta and Yuki," he said, kissing his cheek.
"I'm sure that Celi has a few good children left in her. Don't discount your mother, Conrad," Gunter said. And perhaps Celi would even manage a straight child.
He laughed a bit. "It would be weird to have another little brother or sister," he said honestly.
Gunter chuckled. "True. Well, I don't even know Lord Von Voltaire feels the same way about me as I do about him."
Conrad shook his head. "You should know Gwendal well enough by now to know he doesn't do anything by halves."
"I also know him well enough to know that he doesn't really...have romantic notions."
I also know him well enough to know that he doesn't really...have romantic notions
He snorted. "Gunter, my brother doesn't just sleep with anyone. He has a spot for you in his heart if he's sleeping with you.
Gunter blushed. "He...is certainly doing that...." He murmured. "You think it really means he...y'know...the l word/"
"Perhaps." He shrugged. "He cares for you, that I can tell you."
Gunter blushed. "He said he loved me." He stared at the ground. "Am I horrible person for wondering if that means somethings wrong with him?"
"Maybe he's possessed?" he joked. "With something that goes around and makes him tell the truth?"
Gunter rolled his eyes. "Don't be silly. My Gwennie is too good to be possessed. He's too strong-willed. He could resist any...possessy things."
"Apparently he can't resist you," he said and Yukito chose that moment to start laughing hysterically at something.
Gunter burst into hysterical tears.
Conrad shook his head and rubbed the baby's back, stroking his hair.
Gunter wiped away tears. "Gwendal will never love me! I am not worthy of love!"
Conrad leaned over and hit him in the head with a spoon. "Stop being stupid, von Christ."
Gunter was spooned. He rubbed at his tears. "But its truuuuue," he wailed. "I'm an old spinster."
Conrad leaned over and hit him again and Yukito laughed, clapping his hands.
Gunter put his head in his hands and sniffled forlornly, a breeze blowing through his hair despite the fact that they were indoors. "What if I go through life without love?"
Conrad idly wondered how the hell Gunter did it, but decided to hit him again. "Stop being stupid," he repeated. "You have love, stop whining like you don't have it."
Gunter sniffled. "You really think so? But what if he rejects me? What if he leaves me and takes the children?" Never mind the complete lack of children.
Conrad wondered just what the hell Gwen saw in the man and decided that the sex had to be fabulous. "Stop or I'm going to start fighting dirty," he warned.
Gunter blushed. "I'm dating, Weller!"
"Sounds like wallowing to me."
"Well, yes, but......I don't know....I want this to work out! I want to live happily ever after with Gwennie."
"Tip number one, stop wallowing." He reached for his juice, offering the baby a sip. "Tip number two, stop comparing everything to Yuuri."
"But everything in the kingdom should be compared to his Majesty's beauty and grace."
"Yes, but I don't want the person I love more than anything telling me I'm not someone else."
"I don't want Gwendal to BE heika...then I truly could never earn his love...Heika is like the sun...he is too brilliant to touch or hold...his skin glows like the warm caress of the western wind, his eyes hold the luminance of an opal..." Gunter could go on about this topic for years
Conrad looked at Yuki and shook his head. "Gunter, Gwendal thinks you're replacing him for Yuuri." Dumbass, he added mentally.
"But they're not even...Gwendal is..." He shook his head. "I can touch Gwendal, love him as...as equals love. Heika is beyond such things as mortal love."
"Yuuri is a human, Gunter. You're the only one who doesn't see that."
Gunter just looked down. "I don't know how you can deny his obvious superiority, Weller."
"He's not a god. If I ran a sword through him, he'd die."
"I would throw myself on your sword before I would let you touch heika!"
Conrad sweatdropped. Completely missed the point. "Not the issue, Gunter. Anyway, Yuuri sees us all as equals, so Gwendal doesn't have him on the pedistal you do."
Gunter had the sudden suspicion Conrad was trying to make...some sort of point. "And your point is?"
"Gwendal sees you comparing him to another person." He thought. "Sort of like if you were to compare him and me."
Gunter blinked. "But I'm not! Gwendal is much sexier than you!"
Aaaaaand there it went. He sighed and decided to give it one last shot. "He sees you just comparing him to another person. It doesn't matter who that person is, it's just not him."
"Oh. But surely he knows that I care for him the most, since I stay with him?"
"Not when you do things like scream out someone else's name during sex." Thank you maids....
Gunter went bright red. "It was a compliment! I meant only that I...that heika's glory touched me!"
Conrad shook a finger. "You're comparing him to someone not him. No matter who that person happens to be."
"I wasn't comparing! I was using Heika an example that Gwendal lived up to...oh...wait.." He looked down. "I think I see."
Conrad looked down at Yukito and bounced him a little. "There's hope yet."
Gunter glared. "No need for sarcasm, Weller."
"You hurt my brother, you're lucky all I'm doing is being sarcastic."
"I didn't MEAN to hurt him!" Gunter complained."
"But you did. And now that you've realized it, what do you plan to do about it?"
Yuki was playing with his feet and clapped, bouncing in Conrad's lap.
Gunter sighed. "...I believe... I need to go speak...with Lord Von Voltaire."
Conrad smiled. "He'll forgive you."
Gunter blushed and another wind blew through, with some upbeat music. "I'll...go..do..that...thank you Lord Weller."
Yuki waved at him, laughing.
Gunter ran off gayly.